i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
false alarm. still invincible.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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