Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
