I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When are your genitals available?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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