For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
