i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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