i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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