the new term for farting is butt boxing.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize