You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I am morally bankrupt
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize