i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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