You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
