at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize