I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
