also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
