I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
