it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
