I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
