I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
