Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
