If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
