Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's never too late to be topless.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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