Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
