bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
