There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
