What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize