I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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