I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
nutella sex= disaster
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize