you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's great music for shaving your balls
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
