Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
