even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
