He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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