Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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