I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
