Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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