Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
