ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I deserve this hangover.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
