i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
