It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will be naked everywhere
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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