He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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