Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
