i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
