im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
