That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
