Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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