so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can I color on your dick again?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
