so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
