if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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