a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
