So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
