I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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