So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
