I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
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