It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
