i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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