I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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