how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
