just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize