At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
