The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
