Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
