I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize