GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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