Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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