That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
