So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
