why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
