Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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